You want to be with the love of your life forever, and he with you, so
always make your marriage a top priority (as in every day!). Here are
some easy and fun ways to keep improving an already awesome partnership.
Even if you're not married yet, you can start practicing these tips to
enjoy your relationship even more throughout the wedding-planning
process.
Grooms and husbands, hold onto this list as well — these rules apply to you, too!
1. Eat healthfully.
A 2012
British study
from the University of Warwick found that people who consume more
fruits and vegetables experience higher levels of mental well-being.
Include these foods in your diet and you'll have increased energy, sleep
better and exhibit a more positive outlook in general. You have to take
great care of yourself to be the best "you" in this marriage.
2. Make time for exercise.
It's important to work out — no, not to be a size 0 so your hubby finds
you attractive, but so that you feel your best. Newlyweds who exercise
have more self-confidence while clothed or naked, enjoy mood-boosting
hormones and are less likely to
experience depression. Exercise solo and
with your partner: Running a 5K together or taking an exercise class is
a fun way to bond.
3. Talk about your early days of dating.
Rather than bringing up the past in a wistful sense ("why don't we ever
do that anymore..."), express appreciation for all the ways that your
spouse has helped you. For example, you could say something like, "I was
just thinking about that romantic dinner you planned by the fireplace
on our third date. That was really wonderful." It's an ego boost for him
and it shows that you value his best efforts. (Note: Making the effort
to compliment your husband is especially important if he feels like he's
being undervalued at work, since it shows that he's doing something
right in this sector of his life.)
4. Bond with each other’s friends.
If you’re not already close with your husband's friends, nor he with
yours, plan occasional group outings so that you can all get to know
each other better. When you mesh well with each other's social circles,
it enhances this important facet of your lives.
5. Give your spouse alone time with their pals.
Even if your husband's friends love you, there are still some events
he’ll be invited to — like going to an NBA game — as a guy’s night out.
Don't make him feel guilty about leaving you home alone by pouting and
checking in with him constantly while he's out (and yes, guys do this
too!). Maintaining separate social lives and being supportive of one
another boosts your marriage.
6. Bond with each other’s families.
It's a gift to your spouse when you blend in well with his parents and
siblings. Befriend them, give compliments, ask how their lives are going
and smile. This is a big one, and it can be especially challenging if
his relatives gave you a hard time during the wedding planning.
You
may not love them (and maybe you will someday), but make an effort to
at least be cordial, forgive as much as you can and start fresh with
them as a member of the family. If you keep giving your husband a hard
time because of a rude comment your mother-in-law made, then he'll
become angry at you and it will cause cracks in your marriage, thereby
letting her win.
7. Touch as often as possible.
Hold hands. Touch your husband on the arm when you’re both making your
morning coffee. Place your hand on his cheek when he kisses you good
night. Think about these little points of contact as love "marks" that
stay with him throughout the day.
At the end of a long day, pamper
each other with foot and hand massages while you’re watching your
favorite TV shows on the couch. The physical contact creates happy
hormone oxytocin, and non-sexual physical contact keeps you feeling
adored by each other. You’d be surprised how longtime marrieds whose
relationships have grown stale never touch each other anymore in these
little adoring ways.
8. Drop your old issues.
We all have scars and damage from our dating days and from our families,
but don't use an old fight as a weapon in a new one. It's unfair to
throw unresolved issues at one another — drop those sensitivities by
avoiding hot button issues that you've already discussed (and hopefully
resolved).
If you're still having trouble letting it go, consider
journaling or talking to a counselor to prevent these bygones from
weakening your marriage.
9. Fight fairly.
Avoid using absolutes like "always" or "never" to accuse your spouse
when you’re revved up and kind of irrational during a particularly bad
argument (i.e. "You never listen to me"). Within the argument, establish
a "take it back" code whenever either of you says something you don't
truly mean.
Remind your husband that you love him and stay focused
on finding a solution, which opens the door for a compromise. You both
need to know when to apologize; love does mean saying "I'm sorry"
sometimes.
10. Cook together.
Make it an occasional treat to prep a new meal together. The sensory
experience of cooking and co-creating a fabulous, romantic dish or snack
is way better than popping some toaster tarts in the oven.
11. Have a sense of humor.
Don’t be uptight or overly sensitive, making it impossible for your
spouse to playfully tease you if you do something silly. If you’re
always a raw nerve, he'll feel like he's walking on eggshells, which
makes you a chore. Laugh off a joke (and deliver one right back at your
husband) to show him that you're a carefree partner who doesn't make him
nervous to kid around with.
12. Know when to listen (without offering advice).
Sometimes, you or your partner just need to vent and spill out all the
frustrations of the day. Since your husband loves you and wants you to
feel better, he might give suggestions that can produce the opposite
effect intended. It's easy to turn your stress against him ("Don't you
think I already thought of that?").
Let him know when you just
want to be heard and comforted — no crisis intervention necessary — and
you've just created a strong tool in your marriage.
13. Carve out quiet time.
Make it a point to decompress each evening. Avoid following your spouse
around like a puppy as soon as he gets home from work, telling him about
your day or reminding him about things you need to do, like fix the
washing machine or attend your niece's birthday party.
Your
husband understands that you just miss him, but he might feel bad
telling you to chill for a while and let him unwind. Be open and honest
whenever you need some alone time, whether it's 15 minutes or an hour,
and vice versa. You’re not saying, "Don’t bother me," you’re
communicating clearly about an important need you have that you’ll both
respect.
14. Be financially responsible.

Money is one of the top marriage stressors, especially in these
challenging financial times. You both need the security of knowing that
you’re each paying bills on time, and not making unnecessary purchases.
Create
a joint account for bills but also keep separate accounts for your own
play money, and, of course, make sure you're both socking away some
money in your savings to contribute towards shared future goals.
Most
importantly, be financially honest with one another, no matter what. No
secret spending or hiding it from your spouse if you're having trouble
paying a bill on time.
15. Speak well of each other.
If you vent to your friends or family members about a fight you had with
your husband, they may not forgive him, even after you've forgiven and
forgotten. It's a betrayal to trash-talk your spouse to others, even if
he made you really mad. Your personal issues need to stay personal so
that you don’t create problems in your social and family circle that
will only grow worse over time.
And his family and friends love it
when you rave about his awesomeness, just as your loved ones will adore
him for speaking highly of you all the time.
16. Be playful.
Even if life is stressful, express your playful and silly side by
suggesting (or agreeing to participate in) sports, video games, a round
of mini golf, a night at the amusement park, or other spirited
activities. Show this side of your personality often, and remind your
spouse how much fun you are. Even if you're the worst darts player ever,
laughing at your lack of skill (instead of pouting or getting
frustrated) lets him see you in this adorable way.
17. Don’t stall on each other’s requests.
Life is hectic, but if your partner asks you to look up something online
or find a piece of paperwork for him, make it a high priority to do so
as soon as humanly possible. When you show your spouse that his requests
are important to you and you value his needs, that makes your
partnership even stronger.
On the flip side, if either of you
says, "I'll get to it in a few days...I'm kind of busy now," that can
cause hurt feelings. Of course, some requests can't be done now, and you
may not be able to drop your important work to complete it, but don't
make your husband wait for weeks. Just do it as soon as you can.
18. Accept that you’ll both have bratty moments.
Sometimes when we’re stressed, we get snappy. It happens to everyone,
and that ultra-bratty response may even be a surprise to you. So if your
spouse replies with a terse comment, don’t pull the pin on a big fight
grenade. Just accept it as a sign that he’s stressed and not able to
respond more maturely at the moment.
And if he blames your bratty
remark on PMS, it’s better to walk away than get into a fight over
something silly. Apologies can come a little bit later.
19. Divvy up chores.
Division of labor in a marriage is something that marriage counselors
handle a lot with couples who are having trouble. You can avoid
resentments by simply talking to each other about which household
projects you want to take on. Maybe you’re okay with killing the spiders
and taking out the trash, and he’s fine with vacuuming.
Make your
own plan without any male vs. female labels, and then — this is
important — sit down to discuss which household chores are annoying you,
which you want to trade, and which you want to hire someone to
do...like the dusting and vacuuming. Done!
20. Ask your spouse, "What do you need more of?"

Being this direct, and safe to talk to, lets him (and you) say, “I need
some more alone time when I get home from work” or “I need more cuddle
time” or “I want to make out more.” Your spouse isn’t a mind reader, and
they want to know how to please you better. You get your wish out
there, no resentments build, and you have a great tool for your
ultra-strong marriage that you can use again and again.
quite nice and interesting place you got here god bless
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