
I’ve seen some of the best guys lose a girl because they’re too
scared to pursue her. The fear can be so strong that even if the girl is
interested, he still loses her because he’s focused on his own
inadequacies. As a good guy, take the
initiative.If you fear rejection,
then plan on taking the back seat to the jerk who will seize every
opportunity. However, if you’re ready to get over the fear of rejection
and get the girl, here are 4 pointers that will make a difference.
Invest In Yourself
The whole dating thing seems to revolve around FINDING the right
person for you. Buck the system and focus on BEING the right guy for
her. Don’t put her on a pedestal when you should be getting up there
yourself. I’ve heard so many guys say, “If I just found her and got
married, I wouldn’t have any more problems.” Addictions are going to
just float away when you fall in love?
That would be nice. No wonder
you’re too intimidated to talk to her. You believe she’ll solve
everything. That’s too much pressure for any human being to handle. Take
care of those issues before you even begin the process. If you’re focus
is on BEING a good guy, then eventually you will become one, and the
right one will come before you.
Change Your Mind
The truth is, there are some lies you believe which obliterate your chances of even having a basic conversation with her. In Rules of the Game, Neil
Strauss points out “limiting beliefs” which affect your ability to talk
to women. One of these lies is “Woman aren’t attracted to nice guys.
They like jerks.” In reality, it’s not about good guys or bad guys.
Neil
says, “it’s between weak guys and strong guys. Women are drawn to men
who demonstrate strength—not necessarily physical strength, but the
ability to make them feel safe. So if you’re a nice guy, you can still
be nice. But, you must also be strong.” If you’re too scared to
approach her, how can you be the leader she needs? Identify your
limiting beliefs, rewrite them, and repeat your new declaration every
morning. For instance, you might say, “Women are looking for a good guy
like me because I will be her strength.”
Get Rejected
What if she roll her eyes, and ignores me?
Risk is a gamble, and sometimes you lose. Unless you’re willing to
take some risks, you will never know accomplishment. Instead, you’ll be
the safe nice guy, and you’ll be a great friend for her while some other
guy sweeps her off her feet.I got a healthy dose of rejection when I
started my sales career. Over and over again, I heard “no.” The upside? I
discovered rejection is just a ratio game. In fact, I expect to be
rejected many times before I make one sale, but I don’t lose focus.
Expect to be rejected multiple times before landing your first date
while keeping your eye on the prize.
Focus on the Higher Purpose
Sometimes we’re too concentrated on our own insecurities. In fact,
you might magnify the importance of something that doesn’t matter at
all. If you’ve already taken the time and invested in yourself, it’s now
time to take the focus off of you. Maybe take a yoga class before the
event you know she’ll be attending. I went and worked out before my
first date with Kristen. Bottom line is, stop striving and find some
inner peace.
I took Kristen to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal one year.
Normally, Kristen is a complete scaredy cat, but for some reason she
didn’t even flinch that night. Dumbfounded, I watched as monster after
monster jumped out at her while she paid no attention. At the end of the
night, I wanted my money back!
She told me she was singing songs and reciting verses in her head. It
got me thinking: couldn’t that same principle be applied to every area
of our lives? You can overcome any fear, including rejection, when you
keep your mind focused on a higher purpose.
Master a few of these, and you’ll be head and shoulders over the
jerk. Have some fun with it and don’t be so serious. If you’re not
confident at first, act like you are, and it will eventually become
natural. I believe in all of you good guys out there. I expect success
stories soon !
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